The Seven Dwarfs Gone Bad

May 6, 2014

While Snow White has been out looking for her Prince, her seven companions had other thoughts on their minds.  Being Miners, as the story goes, these happy fellows are happy no longer. These days with the influx of fake jewels like Cubic Zarconia, Chocolate Diamonds, Hematite, Oil Pearls and Swiss Lapis,the market no longer needs real Diamonds, Rubies or Opals.

These guys are out of work.

Broke.

Desperate.

These guys have a plan...

 Dopey - aka Brilliant Bill

 Grumpy aka Mo Rose

 Bashful aka Skullcap Stu

Sneezy aka Vic Vicodin

 Doc aka Luna Tick

Happy aka Angry Twerp

Sleepy aka Coma Toast

-------------------------------------

Brilliant Bill (Dopey) hatched a plan for the gang to rob a few banks in the town of Lets Get Real and live happily ever after. I'm quite sure all his pistons were misfiring with this idea.

Brilliant Bill chose two banks a few blocks from each other which Coma Toast (Sleepy) cased  a few days prior. Luna Tick (Doc) created the Identity Shield Masks.Hidden talents among the meds I see.  Angry Twerp (Happy) volunteered to hot wire a getaway car or two.

Skullcap Stu (Bashful), Ma Rose (Grumpy) and Vic Vicodin (Sneezy) worked out the getaway route, opened a dummy bank account in  Yew Stoopid, Idahoe and cancelled cable.
Leaving all their belongings behind jotting a quick note to Snow not to wait up (ever) for them, they put their plan into action. Hell in a Handbag was waiting for them outside the front door.

    

Brilliant Bill is driving without a license, resorts to hand signals since Angry Twerp chose a car with no blinkers.  Brilliant Bill didn't mind. The car was a classic Golden Oldie.

First stop - a big score. Do I hear the theme of Shaft in the background? Yes, that's Mo Rose twerkin' and workin' hard for the money.

 Luna Tick directs Brilliant Bill to the next location.

                                                     

                                                Vic Vicodin vocalizes vulgarities.

"Three minutes in the Bank of Pork-Land and we're home free!" exclaims Angry Twerp.

                       Angry Twerp went back for the last of the cash when sirens 

                                   were starting to wail in the distance. 

                                                                     Crap.

       

                                                 Busted by The Clown Police.

                                                                   No joke.

                                                               The Line Up

Walking the Mile

                                                 The Big House to await the verdict.

There was more room in their tiny house, where they really should have thought of a better plan. Now there will be plenty of time to reflect.

Brilliant Bill is singing "Nobody knows the trouble I've seen", while the rest of the gang is belting out "Folsom Prison Blues" by Johnny Cash.

                                              

Angry Twerp leads the band of unhappy characters in prayer. They heard from the guard there will be no trial.  No bail. No hope. But they will be offered two choices. Plead guilty and serve the remainder of their lives in The Big House, outside in 100* heat. Vic Vicodin starts whining about how his perm is going to be raggedy in the heat and he'd never know the outcome of this season of RuPaul's Drag Race. Option Two being an inkling better than the first.  Have their hair pulled out from the roots with a pair of pliers. That didn't sound so bad.   


So our Seven Dwarfs opted to be bald. Their hair would grow back in a matter of weeks. 

                                                                   What they didn't know was
                                                                  duh - duh - duh..                                                       Their brains were located in their cute little booties and
                                                         their heads were hollow - hollow - hollow.


                                                                         Days became weeks.
                                                                       Weeks became months.
                                                             Snow is still searching for her Prince.

There's a constant tickle where their hair used to be and for the cost of a good hairbrush they couldn't figure out why they all had such a hankering for potash and nitrogen.

         Succulents.

They had become hosts to Succulents.

 A thousand times better than being in the heat for the rest of their lives I would say.

Skullcap Stu spoke these words, breaking his vow of silence:

Suck it up Baby

Prison Zombies we could have been maybe.

Wood we once were, and rubber, that too

We'll outlast any vinyl house straight down to the root.

Be glad we are together

to spend our lives as an ex-con

Though one thing bothers me through it all,

Did we leave the coffee pot on?

Poppy

Saturday May 3, 2014

It's not a well known fact that my Trolls actually bicker. Bicker about their wardrobe, who will sneak into the fridge for Lemonade. 

FYI - Trolls are quite fond of Lemonade. 

My brood bickers mostly of how to be chosen to go on outings with me.  I let them work it out for themselves. 384 of them is a battle I'm not willing to get in the middle of. Have you ever been scratched by hard plastic nubby fingers? You wouldn't like it either.

The bickering got out of hand when I was invited a few weeks ago to see Gladys Knight. No Pips this time. Through the hair pulling and gouging of eyes, one Troll remained silent. Poppy. Poppy Canbya Papaveraceae. Too much to spell and say so she just goes by Poppy. Her smile is infectious, her hair sprouts in all directions and Poppy loves to wear frocks with flowers.

So Poppy hopped into my purse and off we go to see Gladys Knight and the Saints Unified Voices. Joining us are friends  Robin (thank you for the invitation),Carol, Jeanette and her husband Dave. 

I wasn't aware that Sister Gladys has directed this choir for eleven years. This is Gladys Knight's mission. Bring her testimony and uplifting hymns to all. No "Midnight Train to Georgia", but that was alright. The last song Gladys lead us all in a rendition of "Amen". How many can say they sung with Gladys Knight. How many more can say "My troll sang along with Gladys Knight!"

Here we are waiting in line at the church to see Gladys. This is my friend Carol. And of course we had to wait for Poppy to 'extend' her hair for the photograph.

Poppy had her own chair in front of me when the concert began. She swayed, extended her arms in joyous praise and if you listened closely, you could here her sing slightly off key.

No photographs, recordings, autographs or surrounding Gladys. Understandable. She had three shows this day and two more the following afternoon. She would have been swarmed by the 1,000 plus per show.  Gladys is all of five foot wonderful. 5'4 actually and for 69 years of age, she still looks amazing!!!

Because Poppy behaved herself and didn't start banging on the bus, I would treat her to her favorite meal of Mexican food on Sunday.

How adorable is this? A place for the youngsters to enter the restaurant at Cafe Del Rio.

Poppy ordered The El Matador Platter
consisting of Charro Beans, Mexican Potatoes which tasted better with honey, Puff (Daddy) Taco, Cheese Enchilada and Beef Flauta. The homemade Lemonade was impressive.Told ya Trolls love Lemonade.

The Jalapeno Pepper was about the same size as Poppy. She was told if she could eat 3/4 of her dinner, she could take a spin on the Kiddy Kar at the front of the restaurant.

That's my girl!!!

                    Poppy had a magnificent weekend with me.  

                        I think I will take her out more often.

A Troll Halloween Tale

I'm called Twisted. Silly. Creative. Shake My Head worthy from the best of friends. That suits me fine.

Growing up with Science Fiction movies, the stimulating eye candy from the little black box has made me who I am. Twisted. Silly. Creative. Shake My Head worthy.

October 31, 2012

This is a tale of a mother giving her sons the best birthday present in the history of impressiveness.

What turns out to be a great afternoon of thrills, abruptly becomes a scene of chaos, the smell of burnt rubber, the shouts of panic and pain.

The drama of A Troll Halloween Tale will keep you on the edge of your seat, eyes glued to the screen.

Meet Cherokee Rose and her sons.
 left to right -  Vincent, Peter Christopher.
The boys were named after Great Science Fiction actors.

Punk & Spice
International Motorcycle Daredevils .

Hired for the party, they will present their thrilling escapades on their infamous Trike of Terror!

Whipping the party guests into a froth of frenzy,
Punk & Spice prove to be the best of the best of the best. 

Oooooooooooooooooo  !

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

TRAGEDY STRIKES!!!!

LOOK OUT!!!!!!

"This just in, a Birthday Bash of a different sort.  Famous Bikers Punk & Spice were entertaining a birthday party when their bike lost control injuring 95% of the guests."

Candlelight vigils...

Prayers and Pickets outside the hospital...

as the boys undergo life threatening surgeries.
DRAMA

See the outstanding performances of
Perma Linque as Cherokee Rose
The TrippLette Brothers
as Vincent, Peter and Christopher
and
Special Guest
Price Lee Cushing as Bela Langostino

A TROLL HALLOWEEN TALE
SHOT IN imaxxx
COLOR: By Nature

http://whatmyeyezc.yolasite.com/a-troll-halloween-tale.php

Sheena

This porcelain beauty was a gift from Maggie.
These are rare. When you do come across one,
 the postage rivals
the cost of the doll.
Authenticity Document and er'thang.

Sheena joined the clan 8-8-13.

Burlesque Birthday

My dear friend Moongirl had a special birthday surprise for my 53 birthday. I love the wonderment of it all.

Moongirl, you are so cool. 

Luv you.

A special evening out calls for a special evening dress. And a Special Troll in coordinating ensemble. I don't sew but I am a wiz with Duct Tape or a Glue Gun. 

My favorite color. Grinch Green. 

Six rolls of the green and three rolls for the boots and trim. Lest we forget the gown and handbag by Ittikatz
for the troll Lady Geneva.

When Moongirl said she had a surprise in store for me,
she did not miss the boat.
An ideal Wrist Corsage. In my colors. Squeal!!

Moongirl looking smashing in sun yellow.

Modeling (and gloating) for her fellow companions in the background.

Geneva wanted to bring her boyfriend Flat Stanley. The show has sold out, so......

The Tiny Belle of the Ball, Geneva.

The Mayor of DFW Burlesque.

A lovely birthday at Lakewood Theater for Burlesque with my friend Moongirl and the Tiny Diva Geneva.

April 2012